by Mary Ellen Flannery
Famed for its vast appetite for information and ability to protect its offspring, the parent genus has nonetheless eluded scientific study. Until now.
Sometimes it seems like the classroom is a whole world away from your students' homes, and that parents speak another language. (Often they really do.) Making them full partners in their children's education is a challenge—and it can be particularly difficult for new teachers. In this year's MetLife Survey, new teachers said parent communication is tougher than classroom discipline! But you know it's worth the effort—98 percent of educators say they need to work well with parents to be effective—and it is a goal well within reach. So put on your safari boots and take a hike through our guide to understanding that species of human that sometimes confounds us.
No. 1 Parentis Hardtofindis
The Elusive Parent
Characteristics: Fears predation, retreats fearfully from Teachis species.
Habitat: Prefers burrows.
Mutations: Characteristics often grow exaggerated as its offspring age.
How to approach: It's best to reach out early, in a friendly fashion, to P. hardtofindis. During the summer, visit every burrow, just to say hi. Unbelievable but true, sometimes parents are elusive because they're actually afraid of you! When school starts, consider a switch to student-led parent conferences—attendance rates are often higher at those—and offer baby-sitting. (Note: All Parentis love snacks!) At school events, give them something: new books, math games, great tips on getting homework done, or just a fun time with the school's bingo cards. Consider calling in Grandparentis—they are often eager to explore the school habitat.
No. 2 Parentis Aggresivis
The Angry Parent
Characteristics: Prickly hide, venomous bite.
Markings: Reddened face.
Calls and signals: "Not my child!"
How to avoid attack: The Angry Parent can seem threatening, but do not delay encounters! When offspring first shows signs of problems make contact—P. aggresivis will have reason to be angry if left out of the loop. If their child's issue isn't immediately resolved, make an appointment to talk and provide evidence of the problem—poor test papers, discipline referrals, etc. Then try to enlist their help by asking questions that make them feel like partners and also the expert on their child: "What can we do?" And don't forget to sincerely thank them for their help. Know there are risks to asking an administrator to join you at the meeting—the parent may feel ambushed or wonder if you lack authority—but definitely do it if you feel at all unsafe.
No. 3 Parentis Enthusiasticus
The Eager Parent
Characteristics: Very able hunter and gatherer.
Size: Appears larger than actual.
Food: Loves cupcakes. Avoids peanuts.
How to cultivate: The Eager Parent is a ball of energy—enthusiastically baking for birthdays and serving sodas on Field Day. These parents will want to yap with you frequently, and likely require a great deal of your time to keep happy and healthy. But P. enthusiasticus can be a valuable community member. At the start of the year, survey all Parentis to find out where they work, what they do for fun, and whether they have specific interests that you can use in your classroom. Take that information, tap their resources, and you'll be able to start newsletters; have career day at the firehouse; and teach your kids where the money in the bank goes.
No. 4 Parentis Officina
The Busy Parent
Characteristics: Very fast land speed, rivaling the great cats.
Habitat: Spends most time in large, messy vehicles.
Calls and signals: "Just a minute!"
How to catch: The Busy Parent is usually a working parent. (You understand this because many of you are too!) On parent conference days, you may have to extend hours from the early morning to late evening to accommodate their schedules. P. officina probably want to stay in touch, but believe they don't have the time. Get their cell phone numbers and e-mail addresses, and provide yours too. Regardless of response, continue to send home their children's work on a regular basis, including writing samples, artwork, and test copies—and try taking photos of class activities to include.
No. 5 Parentis Diffralingua
The English-Learning Parent
Characteristics: Frequent inability to speak Teachis language, often difficult to attract to classroom environment.
Habitat: Traditionally urban areas, but migratory patterns are wide-ranging.
Population: About 1 in 15 U.S. children live in P. diffralingua homes.
How to reach: First learn more about your parents' homeland, language abilities, and their expectations of the school environment. Often, parent liaisons can help. Then reach out with genuine invitations—ask them to celebrate their holidays or share their folktales in your classroom. Make their culture and history a legitimate part of your curriculum. Translate anything you send home and when you host events, make interpreters available and invite the extended family. Consider offering language lessons for parents or other evening classes that might help them help their children.
