7. Whatever your children’s age, they deserve honest answers and explanations. It’s what strengthens our children’s ability to trust. Also, when we don’t provide a straightforward answer, kids make up their own fantasy explanations, which can be more frightening than any real, honest response we can offer.
While we may not want or need to share all the details of a particular situation or issue with our child, try not to leave any big gaps either. When we do, children tend to fill in the blanks themselves, which can generate a good deal of confusion and concern.
8. Often it can feel like forever before a youngster gets his story out. As adults, we’re tempted to finish the child’s sentence for him, filling in words and phrases in an effort to hear the point sooner. Try to resist this impulse. By listening patiently, we allow our children to think at their own pace and we are letting them know that they are worthy of our time.
Rebuild, Volunteer, and Celebrate!
Organizing to Rebuild South Sunset Playground
The Neighborhood Parks Council recently hosted a meeting of neighbors, park advocates, city officials, community partners and Recreation and Parks Department staff to address the destruction caused by vandalism at South Sunset Playground. With the goal of pooling resources to rebuild this playground, as well as to keep the area’s neighborhoods and parks safe, clean and green, a follow-up meeting is being held. Please join this movement to learn what we can do as a community, and feel free to invite anyone who might be interested in lending a hand to this effort. Contact: Supervisor Fiona Ma’s office, 554-7460, or the Neighborhood Parks Council, 621-3260.
When: October 13, 7:00 pm
Where: South Sunset Playground Clubhouse (Ulloa Street @ 41st Ave)
Hands On Bay Area Day 2005
Join 2,500 volunteers at this annual event and be a part of one of the Bay Area’s largest and most effective days of volunteerism. Volunteer at one of over 75 service projects and contribute to 10,000 hours of service to the community in one day! Volunteers will do everything from paint schools to prepare meals for the homeless, benefiting people in need of all ages and backgrounds.
Registration for the event is FREE, but Hands On Bay Area Day is a serve-a-thon. Like a walk-a-thon, volunteers contact friends, family and co-workers to donate in support of their community service. The fundraising goal is $125,000, and every dollar counts. Volunteers receive event t-shirts and prizes for fundraising. In one day friends, neighbors, colleagues, and employees will join together to make an impact in their community. Register now! Contact: Hands On Bay Area, 541-9616 or hobaday@handsonbayarea.org.
When: October 15
8:00 am - 9:00 am: Breakfast & Event Registration at Kick-Off Locations: Oakland, San Francisco, San Jose. Get your project assignment. Turn in your donations. Get your goodie bag. Meet your volunteer team members. Fuel up with a cup of coffee and pastry and get ready for a great day.
9:00 am - 9:15 am: Opening Ceremonies
9:15 am - 2:00 pm: Volunteer Projects
2:00 pm - 4:00 pm: Wrap-Up Parties at Event Kick-Off Locations
Where: Contact Hands On Bay Area for the San Francisco kick-off event details and to receive your volunteer project assignment.
Family Festival 2005
Working in collaboration with local agencies and city departments, Mayor Gavin Newsom presents Family Fest 2005, which promises to be the biggest family event of the year! Children of all ages will be able to play supervised games in the Fun Zone. A wide variety of artistic activities will be ongoing in the Art Zone. The Info Zone will be the place to learn about programs, classes, community organizations and all of the city services offered to children, youth and families in San Francisco. Entertainment will be offered all day on the Main Stage, and professional storytellers will be on hand at the Story Time Stage.
Other features of the event include voter registration, free library cards, signing up for a low-cost bank account, enrolling children in the Healthy Kids program, and registration for programs, including free art classes at the new deYoung Museum! Family Fest is a “Green Event,” so there will also be free battery recycling, an opportunity to exchange mercury thermometers for free digital thermometers, and bike repair and safety information for bicycle riders.
This event is FREE, and open to all San Francisco families! Contact: For more information, go to DCYF or email familyfestival@dcyf.org.
When: October 22, 11:00 am – 3:00 pm
Where: Yerba Buena Gardens (on Mission Street btw 3rd & 4th Streets)
When Children Grieve [part 2 of 3]
How teachers and counselors can reach out to bereaved students.
by Susan Black
The school's role
Schools cannot compensate for children's severe losses, and teachers and counselors cannot assuage children's grief alone. But schools should be prepared to help bereaved students work through their grief.
That's the message that Helene McLaughlin, a school counselor in Edgecombe, Maine, gives in an article written for Portland's Center for Grieving Children. She recommends these steps:
1. Create a support team that deals with grieving children; meet at least four times a year to review bereavement research and methods of supporting children at various ages.
2. Communicate to all school staff that children's grief is a "natural, normal, and healthy response" to death, and that grieving children need emotional support at school as well as at home.
3. Consider each grieving child as an individual case, taking into account the child's age, experiences with death, and home life.
4. Teach staff how to answer grieving children's questions and how to talk about their thoughts and feelings.
5. Ask teachers to watch for grieving students who are disoriented, confused, forgetful, impatient, sad, inattentive, and disruptive, as well as those whose grief resurfaces months after a death.
6. Help students resume their regular schedules and studies; provide counseling for children who struggle with "the deep and exhausting inner work of grief."
"I constantly remind teachers and other staff to refer troubled kids to our counselors," said the principal of a school I visited recently. "Teachers are expected to reach out to grieving children, but they are prohibited by policy from acting as counselors or therapists."
The Dougy Center for Grieving Children & Families, based in Portland, Ore., offers advice to school leaders based on its work with more than 14,000 bereaved children and teens. In When Death Impacts Your School, the center encourages administrators and teachers to talk with bereaved students and their families before the students return to school. One topic that should be discussed is how much information a grieving child wants teachers to share with other students.
It's also important to know what not to do. For instance, the Dougy Center advises school officials to inform their staffs that it is unacceptable to:
• Suggest that a student has been sad and has grieved long enough;
• Tell a student it's time to move on;
• Act as if nothing has happened;
• Make comments such as: It could be worse; you were lucky it didn't happen to you; I know how you feel; you'll be stronger for this;
• Expect students to go through a short grieving process and completely recover; or
• Punish students for being forgetful, preoccupied, and unprepared for class.
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Wellness Center
Jennifer Kenny-Baum (Wellness Coordinator) is available daily.
Monica Murphy (nurse) is available daily.
Ian Enriquez (Youth Outreach Coordinator) is available daily.
Sheening Lin (psychologist) is available daily.
Ulash Thakore (academic counselor) is available Monday thru Wednesday.
German Cheung (counselor) is available on Mondays.
Lauren Marks (counselor) is available Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Kory Okun (relationship counselor) is available Tuesdays.
Wayne Hayes (counselor) is available on Wednesdays.
James Guay (therapist) is available on Wednesdays.
Pauline Ong (Cantonese speaking counselor) is available on Wednesdays.
Megan Agee (Community Safety Organizer) is available on Thursdays.
Sonia Sztejnklaper (Russian speaking counselor) is available on Fridays.
How to Stay Looking Young
by Kathleen Doheny
Here are the 10 unhealthy behaviors mentioned most often by anti-aging experts -- and how to reform yourself.
Smoking cigarettes
More than one-fifth of U.S. adults, or 46 million people, still smoke, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. To reduce your risk of cancer and early wrinkling, grab some over-the-counter nicotine gum. In a review of 123 studies published in 2004, nicotine gum and other replacement treatments such as the patch upped the odds of quitting by two times compared to relying on willpower alone.
Breathing polluted air
Outdoor air pollution can cause coughing and burning eyes and is linked to asthma attacks and respiratory disease. Easier said than done, but stay indoors as much as possible when pollution levels are high.
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